Pacing a Relationship – dating tips for men

Pacing a relationship

Pacing a relationship is a lot like running a race. You can’t start out too fast because you’ll burn out quickly. On the other hand, if you get too far behind in the beginning it’s difficult to catch up.

Let’s break it down. Hopefully you have read the other sections on approaching women in general and how to read and evaluate them. There will be similar techniques used here.

-First and foremost, you need to learn how to listen. Listening to women (especially your girl) is a completely different ballgame. When a woman vents, you listen & you understand. You do not, under any circumstances, offer advice, judgment or your opinion. They just want to be heard, nothing more. This applies to venting only or rugged stories about their day.

-Second, and more directly targeted at this subject, is timing. Women have lives outside your relationship and you should to. Spending every waking moment with each other will burn up romance and adventure fast. The flip side is this- you need to let her know that she is a priority in your life. This means if you have other plans on a night that you usually are together, let her know in advance (this means at least a day, not an hour prior). This shows respect and will also let her know that you are aware of her time. So, if you’re a busy man (whether it be school or work), you can still accomplish your goals without destroying your relationship. These are simple rules that are easy to screw up.

-Third, trips are usually a big question for couples. How long should I wait before taking her on a vacation? My rule is simple. Are you sleeping together yet? If yes, the sooner the better, a vacation will let you know real fast if the relationship has any chance at all. If the answer is no, then wait. Nothing will destroy a vacation faster than the inability to have sex. I say this primarily due to the fact that most men think a trip will allow them to close the deal (sex). In some cases it works, but, if it fails, you’re out some cash and now you will resent her for ruining your trip. Been there, done that.

Other tips to keeping a relationship golden-

1) Buy her things every once and a while for no reason at all. These things don’t have to cost a lot, but should just remind her that you were thinking about her.

2) Pay attention to her interests. This will allow you to surprise her with activities that she has always wanted to do and with things she has always wanted. Do not overdue this. Once every three months is fine. Do this every two months when you just start dating. It drops to once every six months after a year. It’s a proven formula.

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3) Include other couples in your activities. This depends a lot on your position in life. If you are older and both in careers it equals to roughly twice a month. The more time you spend together the more time you should include other couples. It’s important to include new stories and experiences in your relationship.

4) Gifts? This is a difficult one for men, mostly because the first idea running through your head is how much money to spend. Women look at it a little differently. Your gifts should show that you put some thought behind them, meaning, you have thought of her interests, paid attention to some of her hints (she will drop them), and picked a gift that she wouldn’t normally get for herself. It shouldn’t be cheap, but doesn’t always have to be jewelry.

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